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Being a widower does not have to be all bad! 29-05-2019

Mary, who is 87, believes widowhood presents women with the unique opportunity to start life again on their own terms.

In her book ‘How to be a Merry Widow: Life after death for the older lady’, she tells fellow widows to “look on the positive side, no shirts to iron for a start. Rejoice in your independence. You can do exactly as you like; paint the house pink, invite your chain-smoking brother to stay or relocate to anywhere on the planet. Consider the good things about being alone. For the first time in your life you are free. Spoil yourself; spend his money on chocolate and taxis. You’re worth it.”

However she admits that loneliness can be extremely hard for older women when their husbands or partners die.

She reveals that when her husband died “the silent house was eerie and evenings alone were alarming to the point of panic”. She adds: “Many women of our generation have never lived alone; we left our father’s house to move in with our husbands”.

Her advice is to “remove yourself from the place of loneliness, your home” and “plan at least one social event every day and plan outings to look forward to. Unless you are dying, staying in all day is a bad idea and will make you morose. You may have demanding things to do in the home but go out at least for some part of the day. Too cold? Wear three coats but go out. Raining? Big umbrella but go out. Not feeling too good? Try fresh air and a walk. Fight any temptation to hide away feeling sorry for yourself.”

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Being a widower does not have to be all bad!